BEING a great father consists of more than putting a roof over your child's head and throwing the ball around every now and then. It requires constant growth on your part and a consistent desire to stay informed about your child's life. It also requires saying no when you really want to say yes and sometimes more importantly, yes when you really want to say no.

Askmen.com, an internet portal for men with millions of readers each month, recently put out a list of their top 12 traits of a great father.

1. Good disciplinarian- Being a good disciplinarian involves peacefully disapproving of our child's misdeeds, as well as not rewarding expected actions. We've discussed positive discipline in a previous post.

2. Allows kids to make some mistakes- Making mistakes is the surest way to learn. Letting our children make mistakes can be hard, but it's a healthy way to learn who they are.

3. Open-minded- The world constantly changes around us. As fathers, we tend to lean towards the conservative, but allowing our children their own beliefs and lifestyles will ensure a mutual stream of respect.

4. Teaches appreciation- Not allowing our children to take things for granted seems impossible, but by appreciating the small things in life ourselves, we rub off by example.

5. Accepts kids aren't exactly like him- We are all different and that's exactly what makes us special. Regardless of our hopes, we must allow our children their own lives.

6. Spends quality time with his children- spending quality time is the hallmark of any good relationship. In our busy world, we must maximize the quality in the time we do have.

7. Leads by example- I've said it before and I'll say it again - ________ parents = _________ children. There are outside factors, but none as telling as the example we lead for our own children.

8. Supportive and loyal- Supporting our children, in front of them and all others, builds a feeling of loyalty and love and will make you be the one your child turns to in a personal crisis.

9. Challenges his kids- Nothing can inspire a child to greater heights than a challenge from their father. Getting our children to strive for and believe in more could be the key to your child's career choices.

10. Teaches his children lessons- There is a lesson to be learned in just about every action we take in life. In fact, fathers can learn just about as much from their children as they do from him.

11. Protects family at all costs- As the head of the family, it is a father's job to put his children's safety above his own. No other trait is more ingrained in us as fathers.

12. Loves Unconditionally- Perhaps the most telling trait of a great father, loving unconditionally puts all the other traits to the test.

I can attest to the difficulty of being good at all of these traits, but with time, effort and a desire to be a better day, you can tackle each one individually and be sure your children think of you the next time the topic of "great fathers" comes up.

DAD TALK

* How many of these traits did you have when your first child was born?
* How many do you have now?
* What other traits do you think should be on this list?