ONE of the greatest gifts you can give your children is to maintain a positive outlook on life no matter the circumstances. Remember, no matter how hard times get, they offer an opportunity to learn and grow. This even includes times your child is misbehaving.

By focusing on making lemonade out of lemons, you provide your children with the tools to do the same when, not if, life gets harder than they think they can handle. Below are seven ways to make your child feel special enough to believe they too can make lemonade, even out of the most sour lemons.

1. Take time for hugs.
No matter how little time you have, there is always time for a hug. Hugs can lift spirits and change both you and your child's attitudes and is often the most effective method to stop misbehavior. Next time you are feeling frustrated or cannot get your child to behave or look at the bright side, give them a hug. You just may be surprised at the outcome.

2. Hold weekly family meetings.
A half hour meeting every week will result in huge payoffs. Children feel good about themselves when they are listened to and taken seriously. Another tip is to allow your kids to help create morning and bedtime routines and creative ways for handling chores. Children are far more willing to follow rules and plans they helped create.

3. Ask for help.
Children need to feel needed. Instead of lecturing and scolding, ask them for their help politely. "Can you please tidy up the family room" invites more cooperation than, "How many times have I told you not to leave all your stuff all over the family room!".

4. Spend regularly scheduled, special time.
Young children need special time daily and when it's at a scheduled time they, and you, can count on, it's much more looked forward to. The amount of time is not as important as the attitude created by scheduling your special time. Children feel special when they know that time with them is as important as the rest of your time.

5. Share sad and happy times as part of the bedtime routine. When tucking your child into bed at night, let them share the saddest thing that happened to her that day. The key is to listen without trying to solve the problem. Then share your saddest time of the day. Next, take turns sharing your happiest event of the day. You'll probably be surprised at the things you hear when your children have your undivided attention to evaluate their day and hear about yours.

6. Take time to write a note for your child’s lunch bag, pillow, or mirror. While waiting in line or traffic, take the time to write an inspirational note to your child and put it in their lunch bag or on their pillow to help start their day off on a good note. These notes make children feel more special than most parents understand.

7. When you run a short errand in the car, ask one of your children to ride along -- just so you can spend as much time as possible together.
Take advantage of these rides by asking them an interesting question, letting them know how glad you are to have a few minutes alone with them or sharing your feelings with them. Kids feel special when you share yourself openly.

Helping your children feel special is a matter of planning and habit, not a lack of time. Get into it. The more special you can make them feel, the more you will feel special yourself.

The ideas above are excerpted from Jane Ed. D. Nelsen's terrific book, "Positive Discipline".